30 October 2011

Grandma Ann

My family history is scandalous, as is most everyone's.  Mine, however, holds a bit of extra scandalous sauce.  My mother was an "adopted" child.  I put this word in quotations as I am not certain that the adoption was ever actually legal and finalized.  Her birth mother did not choose to give her up, nor did she even know where she was placed.  This was the result of a vindictive husband, who didn't want the children, but did not want for her to have them.  My mother was never given the full story, but was raised to believe that her birth mother had abandoned her.

Several years ago, I found out that my mother was adopted. I became curious about my biological grandparents.  I had the displeasure of meeting the biological grandfather.  He was an ass and treated me as if I were filth.  All this before I was even made aware of who he was in my genetic map. I was horrified and hurt when I found out who he was.  I decided to try and find my biological grandmother.

About three years ago I took up this task in earnest.  One of my favorite activities is research, and I am good at it.  It did not take long, and I was able to get in touch with my Grandmother, I even had her phone number.  we made a date to talk on the phone, and believe me, I was nervous... until I started talking to her.

The first time that I spoke with my Gma Ann, we spoke for a good couple of hours. She was funny, charming, informative, etc.  I truly enjoyed her personality, and wanted the opportunity to get to know her. Sadly, her health was failing. So many years that we were robbed of, how does one make up for that, she in Oregon, and me in Texas.

Today, I got the news that she is close to her last moments on this plane of existence.  I have feared this moment would come.  It pains me to think that I still have not even had the opportunity to look into her eyes.  So tonight I contemplate spending the bulk of my savings so that I may spend a few moments in her presence.........